Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Friends you find,,,,, (Drafted 02/09/12)

my friend Alex came to see me yesterday. and then tonight i drove by the place where i last saw him. you know we only spent just a few minutes together really or so it seemed, but, i don't know... how do you explain that feeling when you are with someone and you just have "THAT" feeling? you know the one, where you can almost complete each other sentences because you can relate to their thoughts so well. just that real easy, warm blanket comfort of sharing time with someone that for whatever reason you connect.

05/18/16 -- I didn't know how important Alex would become in my life when I wrote this seven years ago.  Thank you Alex for being there for me when I needed you the most.  I love you.

Day 2372

I stumbled on this blog today while looking for something else.  I can't believe all the minutes, days, and years of passing since I began my journey.

Reflecting back to when I left Idaho on June 6, 2005, I feel like a Phoenix risen from the ashes.  Divine wisdom, internal knowing, peace within.  Don't get me wrong, it's a struggle between heaven and hell inside my head all the time.  Coming back to center, finding peace is easier and easier as the days flow by.  Letting go of anything is never easy.  One step backward and two steps forward.

I am definitely a wanderer.  And, it is true what they say about not all that wonder are lost. I am not lost, I am discovering.   It's a universal truth discoveries are made by questioning answers.  Questions drive consciousness, more importantly the flow to no questioning.  At some point that has become second nature awareness.  To be present, to understand what you are feeling at each moment.

I am just coming out of a very dark period of confusion.  A failed relationship that I had belief would be more than what it was.  My little dog of sixteen years passed.  Within the struggle of understanding all of that, somehow my clarity is more acute.   Or so it seems.

The thing about life, is not knowing until you know.

I am awake, but my soul is still sleeping in your heart. ~ Mariana Fulger