Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Day 105

So, I thought about creating post by back blogging, but that wouldn't have been fair to you or me.

I should have been journalling and creating along the trip and I have and have not......

Transition is such a different thing between each individual and their journey. Some thrive, some stress, some can not sync until all is settled. I feel I am a little of each of these, as we all are a part of each other, sharing the same likes and differences.

Not long ago I read a book, imagine that, me reading a book, I know....

"Tweak, Growing up on Meth" by Nic Sheff... If you haven't read it, give it a whirl. It spoke to me as a book hasn't in a really long time.

I have never been a writer, nor claimed to be one ever. Although, at one time in my younger years I yearned to write, write a book on the level of "Gone With the Wind" I think all readers have this within them. At some point in my life I decided, I was just a reader and not a writer.

Back to Nic Sheff and "Tweak.." at the age of 14, I as the opening lines of tweak proclaim, guzzled whiskey without a care or residual effect.... there are so many things about my life that I often take for granted, as if, everyone experienced what I did.

I can remember reading the definition for "Dysfunctional Family" for the first time...i have the most funtioning dysfunctional family that one could ever imagine.

If one were to actually read, the Epilogue and notes at the end of Tweak, I surmounted the reason why I am hesititant to expose all that is within me and write as free as one could.

For what lays within me, is connected to all others, and to expose to myself and my indescrepancies, in itself will expose interactions with all those around me.

Is it fair? Perhaps, my perspective, does not sync with theirs....and yet I have the audacity to put as perspective to each situation as if it were fact.

With that said....

There is still the voice inside me that chooses to add to the conversation...

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